Canadian Hunks: Lumber Jack

Is that a log in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

Send someone you care about a little bit of love with the Lumber Jack Post Card. He's the second in my mini series of Hunky Canadian Post cards.

Pick up your very own hunk over at my Etsy store!

Lumber Jack

 

 

Drawn in Photoshop with a Wacom tablet.

Penta Penis

A simple spell to summon Satan:

You will need: 

5 penises, good timing, lube (optional) and a towel (optional).

Step 1. Start a five man circle jerk. (Stroking only with the right hand.)

Step 2. Place the middle finger of your left hand into the asshole of the man beside you. 

            Making sure that you are  1 1/2 knuckles deep to create a secure and enclosed circle.

Step 3. Synchronize your ejaculation.

Step 4. Direct your semen towards the penis across from you to create a pentacle.

Step 5. Congratulations! You just summoned Satan. Give yourself a sticky pat on the back.

All joking aside: I haven't been this excited about a drawing of mine since I made Twerk Your Shit. 

This bad boy will be on some super sexy T-Shirts and for sale at this year's World-Motherfucking-Pride! Which will be held in Toronto at the end of June. 

Our extra special guest, Satan, will be printed either with UV ink or glow-in-the-dark ink, so to the naked eye, hes hardly there.  Until you hit up the clubs, with the black lights and dark dance floors and you let your inner demon out to play. 

Penta-Penis

 

Drawn in Photoshop with a Wacom tablet

Monster Edition

I'm super proud to present to you Monster Edition!

The full colour spooktacular Goosebumps Art Book. I don't need to say more because I've already said the coolest thing ever! But I guess its nice to know that there are over 40 international artists featured in 46 beautifully glossy 6"x9" pages. 

I was always such a chicken as a kid and the Goosebumps TV show used to scared the pants off of me. So, for my submission I decided to turn the tables around. 

Take it all off  you sexy silver fox! (that's what wolves are right? just silver foxes?)

Werewolf Skin.

In the immortal words of Shakira:

"There's a She-Wolf in the closet. Let it out so it can breathe. Awhoooooo!"

 

Drawn in Photoshop with a Wacom tablet.

Pet that pretty puppy above pick up your very own copy.

Bumper Buns!

You are amazing. No questions about it.

You deserve both an out-of-this-world high five and a congratulatory slap on the bum (like the ones those super cool sports people do after the thing with the ball... yea, that's the one.)
But who even has time for all of that in this work-a-day-world?
well, nothing says "job well done" and saves time like: a high five...made out of butts!

Bumper Buns.

 

drawn in Photoshop with a wacom tablet

Take Better Kale of Yourself

New years resolutions are everywhere this time and nothing keeps you more on track than some FITsperation! 

Check out this Healthy Honey!

She would like to remind you to:

Stay motivated. Do your homework. Eat some kale chips. And have a laugh.

 

Digital 5.5"x4" Printed on Magnet paper

Gay Lord

On your knees and worship.

 I am your GAY LORD.

Golden crown of cocks with dangling family jewels.

Spit polish to a glimmering shine.

 

 

drawn with wacom tablet in photoshop. 3" button

Twerk Your Shit!

Feeling blocked up?

Creatively or analy? 

Nothing gets new ideas or poop flowing like a good twerk.

 

drawn with a Wacom Tablet in Photoshop. 9"x12".

Hugs Save

Sometimes I'm friendly.

 Share the love. Save the world.

....or other stuff and things that are compassionate.

 

drawn with a Wacom Tablet in Photoshop. 9"x12".

Jack Off Lantern

Happy Halloween! 
This is one of my favorite times of the year.
It's when Scary movies haunt our dreams, and the Pumpkin People attempt to take over the the world again.

I think this year my boyfriend and I might go as the Glow Cloud and Lumpy Space Princess.
What will you be for Halloween this year?... 
but more importantly: 

"Why does your breath always smell like lube?"

 

 

 Anybody else really craving savory roasted pumpkin seeds?

 wacom tablet in Photoshop

Heart Dick Temporary Tattoo

It's official:

Dick-through-Ass tattoos are the new Sword-through-Heart tattoos.

And lucky for you I just whipped up some new Temporary Tattoos that will be on sale at Toronto Pride 2013

Your welcome.

Heart Dick.

 

temporary tattoo, 2.5"x3"
wacom tablet in Photoshop

Braid Your Ass Hairs

  I know it's not father's day any more, but you can give him one of these cards as an apology for not getting him a card when you were suppose to.  

Y'all can pick one of these guys up from my booth at this year's Toronto Pride.
Friday June 29th, Saturday June 30th, and Sunday July 1st
 at the corner of Gloucester St. + Church St.

RIM CARD

"I want to braid your ass hairs with my tongue."

 

digital print, 4x6

Pixel Penis/ Vagina Tote Bags

The Pixel Penis and Pixel Vagina tote bags are finally completed! 

I've had the idea to make these bags for quite some time and now that I've got a few made I wanted to show them off to everyone. Half a year ago I first posted the images of the un-pixlated vagina / penis and since then, I've completed an oil painting, got some test swatches (from SpoonFlower) mailed to me, gathered my materials and at long last... I have tote bags!

Every bag is hand crafted and made from scratch. Meaning I cut, ironed, pined and sewed it all up by myself.

These guys will be on sale at Toronto Pride 2012 so come and see me at my little booth June 29th, 30th and July 1st

 

canvas/linen tote bags, 14x14x4" aprox. with 27.5" straps.

Canadian Hunk: RCMP

This is the first of four hunky Canadian post cards I made for this summer.  

Leading the way, and gallant as every is the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police). 

Saddle up!

 

digital print, 4x6

C.U.M. Rag (female)

Ladies and gentlemen (and everything in between), I present to you my Cotton Utility Mess Rag!

("C.U.M. Rag" for short). 

Perfect of all your stick messes, this 100% cotton rag is the environmentally friendly alternative to disposable tissues and a great way to make sure your toes don't get sticky when you mix up your socks.

 A special thanks goes out to my lovely lady models: Cindy, Penny, India and Gabrielle. I promise that I haven't sold your photos and videos to people over the internet.

10x10, wacom tablet in photoshop

Strap ons

Strap Ons

Just some 9 3/4" tall wooden penis heels with Japanese bondage-straps and suede fringe pubes. No biggie.
Only available in U.S womens size 10-15. (U.S. mens 8-13)

oil on wood panel, 12x16

Pixel Penis Tote: the Painting

At this point I've laid down every square of paint and it's just a matter of colour adjusting. The only way I can tell if a colour is right, is when in context with its surrounding colours. I'm going to give myself a couple days break from this painting to detach myself from it before I start to tamper with the brightness/ darkness and dullness/vibrancy with a refreshed set of eyes.

I'm really please with how sculptural the painting has become.
It's goopy, gloopy and thick. Just the way I like it.

oil on wood panel, 14x14

I Wubbles You.

I made this as a birthday gift for my boyfriend. Wanted him know how much I wubbled him and how much of a nerd I was. But since it's February, I'll turn it into a card so you can also use it for valentines day.

Wubble
Wookie + the Hubble TelescopeHere it is in it's new home, surrounded by si-fi/fantasy/lgbt literature.

16x12 acrylic on wooden panel.